Question/Answers >> Prayers woman

Women Corner >> Question/Answers >> Prayers Salaah

Q1.	How should you cover your body for Salaah?
A1.	The body must be completely covered except for the face, the hands including the wrists, and feet below including the ankles.
Q2.	How should the head be covered for Salaah?
A2.	It is compulsory for you to cover your head and hair, the neck and the collar (throat). If you are wearing a very thin veil over your head such that the hair's shininess or color can be seen, then the Salaah will not be valid.
Q3.	What happens if a small portion of a female's body is uncovered during Salaah?
A3.	In all the parts that are compulsory to cover, if one part was uncovered and was less than a quarter in proportion, then the Salaah is valid. If the opened part is a quarter in size and one is able to cover it immediately, then too the Salaah is valid. If the part was uncovered for one (Rukn), meaning the time you could say (Subhan-Allah) three times, or was uncovered deliberately and whether it was covered again immediately, the Salaah is nullified.
Q4.	What are the Aurat parts for a female?
A4.	The entire body is the Aurat for a female, except for the face, both hands until the wrists and both feet until the ankles. This is split into thirty parts of the body. These parts are: The head, from the top of the head until the start of the neck The hair and its full length The right ear The left ear The neck (and throat) The right shoulder The left shoulder The top right arm including the elbow The top left arm including the elbow The bottom right arm (below the elbow including the wrist) The bottom left arm (below the elbow including the wrist) The chest, below the neck/throat up to the breasts Back of the right hand Back of the left hand The right breast The left breast The stomach, from below the breasts including the navel The upper back, meaning the other side of the chest Both armpits until the lower back The right hip The left hip The vagina The posterior The right thigh including the knees, the knee is not a separate part but is included The left thigh including the knees, the knee is not a separate part but is included Below the navel till the start of the pubic hair and the lower back, is all one Aurat. The right shin, from below the knee including the ankle The left shin, from below the knee including the ankle. The right base of the foot The left base of the foot. Many Ulema have not included the back of the hands and the base of the feet as part of the Aurat.Note: Although the woman's face is not an Aurat, it is still forbidden to expose it to foreign males or ghair-mahram, those whom Islam allows you to marry. It is also forbidden for foreign males to look at a female's face.
Q5.	How should you stand on the Musallah (prayer mat) for Salaah?
A5.	The feet must be together. The feet must be joined at the ankles. The face and the body must be towards the direction of the Qiblah.
Q6.	When saying the Takbeer-e-Tahreemah or (Allahu Akbar), how high should the hands be raised?
A6.	Lift your hands up to your shoulders in such a manner that they are in line with the shoulders, and say (Allahu Akbar) and begin the Salaah. The palms must be facing the Qiblah. Hands must be inside the Burqah (veil, robe) covering your head.
Q7.	After saying the Takbeer-e-Tahreemah, where should you place your hands?
A7.	Females should place their hands on their chest above the breast. The palm of the right hand should rest on the back of the left hand. The fingers of each hand should be kept well pressed that they touch one another.
Q8.	4. How should the Ruku be done?
A8.	When going into Ruku, you should bend just sufficient enough to let the fingers reach the knee. The arms should be pressed towards the body. The feet at the ankles should be joined together. The knees should be drawn close to each other so that they touch each other.
Q9.	How should you perform the Sajdah?
A9.	Sajdah should be performed in such a manner that the knees are first placed on the ground. Thereafter, the hands should be placed on the ground in a way that they will finally rest in line with the ears. The fingers should be well pressed together. Place your head between the two hands. While in Sajdah, both the nose and the forehead should touch the ground. The fingers and toes should all face the Qiblah. The feet should be kept straight but pointing outwards towards the right. The stomach and the armpits should be close to the body. The elbows should lie flat to the ground. The thigh should not be raised, but it should be in as flat as possible. The hips should not be raised and should be as close to the ground as possible.
Q10.	How must you sit in the Jalsa position?
A10.	You should sit on the buttocks - haunch. Spread both the feet towards the right side in such a manner that the right leg is over the left. Both hands should be placed on the thighs with the fingers joined to one another. The tips of the fingers should be close to the knees but not holding the knees or hanging over them.
Q11.	Are women allowed to call out the Adhaan and Iqaamah for Salaah?
A11.	It is Makrooh-e-Tahrimi (almost Haraam) for women to call the Adhaan or Iqamaah. If a woman calls the Adhaan, she will be sinful and the Adhaan will have to be repeated by a male.
Q12.	When must a female not respond to the words of the Adhaan?
A12.	It is not Waajib for a female who has Haiz or Nifas to reply to the Adhaan.
Q13.	While the Adhaan is being called, what must one do?
A13.	Whilst the Adhaan is being called, all talking, greeting and replying to the greeting should be stopped. All other work should be stopped. Cooking or cleaning of the house should be stopped. Even the recitation of the Quran should be stopped if the sound of Adhaan is heard. You should listen to it and reply to it. The same rule applies for Iqaamah. Those who remain busy in conversation will experience a bad death. If one is walking and if one hears the sound of Adhaan, then stop, listen to it and reply to it. The Hadith Shareef has reported great virtues for one who stops all work and listens to the Adhaan.
Q14.	If a female who has Haiz or Nifas recited the verse of Sajdah, will it be binding on her to perform the Sajdah-e-Tilaawat?
A14.	It would not be necessary for her to perform the Sajdah.
Q15.	If a female who has Haiz or Nifas heard the verse of Sajdah, will it be necessary for her to perform the Sajdah-e-Tilaawat?
A15.	It is not Waajib for her to perform the Sajdah-e-Tilaawat if she hears such verse.

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Husband & Wife

Husband & Wife

The relationship between the husband and wife is a very tender, loving and pure relationship. They are in reality the "garb" of one another. Thus, it is the duty of each to be protective over the life, property and modesty of one another. It is necessary for them to realise and understand their mutual duties as a couple. They are two bodies joined by the soul.

The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if a husband was pleased and content with his wife when she passed away, then she will enter Paradise. The explanation of one Hadith is that if a husband passes the night displeased with his wife, she invokes upon herself the Curse of Allah and the Angels. In another hadith, the Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "If I had commanded prostration for any other than Allah, I would have commanded the wife to make Sajdah to the husband." However, since Sajdah is none but for Allah, a woman cannot prostrate to her husband but she should be obedient towards him.

The husband is the provider and protector of his wife. He should thus fulfill her needs and keep her pleased. "The best from amongst you is he who is best to his wife." (Hadith) If there is a conflict, the husband should not be hasty to give her Talaaq (Divorce), but should cool his temper, think carefully and take the opinion of elders before making any decisions as Talaaq is not something which is liked. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated: "From those actions that are Halaal, the most disliked is Talaaq."

The wife should also be patient with the husband. She should show her gratitude for anything that he does. She should understand him and not be lavish with his wealth. She should always be neatly attired and loving. She should love and respect his family. That house in which there is daily conflict is living hell and that home in which there is love and respect is a blessed home.

The Laws of Shari'ah: If a man passes away, the wife may give him Ghusal, but the husband cannot give his deceased wife Ghusal, nor can he touch her deceased body without a cloth. He can, however, see her face. It is common in the public that the husband cannot carry the wife's Janazah or lower her into the grave. This is false. He may see her face, carry her Janazah and lower her into the grave.

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Rights of the Wife

The Rights of the Wife

Almighty Allah has prescribed certain rights of the husband towards their wives. The Holy Quraan says: "The women have almost the same rights over men as men have certain rights over the women in kindness."

Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Best among you are those who behave well with the women." (*1).

The Prophet of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also said: "I make a Wasiyyat to you about the women, so obey my will." (*2).

In another Hadith, the Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is reported to have said: "No believing man should have enmity and hatred against a believing woman. If he dislikes certain habits of that woman, there would certainly be some virtues in her too." (*3).

The Hadith means that the woman must be having both good and bad habits. Man should not always point out her bad habits only. He should also appreciate her good habits.

There are certain obligations that men owe to the women and these obligations should be fully appreciated.

1. Every husband has the obligation to provide for the sustenance of his wife. She should be provided with adequate food, a comfortable home, suitable clothes and other basic amenities of life. He should always bear in mind that this woman has disassociated herself from her parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends and has joined him to share all the ups and downs of life. Hence, it has become his duty to look after her basic needs and comforts.
2. It should be remembered that husbands, who never bother for the sustenance of their wives, commit a severe crime of depriving Allah's creatures of their rights. Such people would be dealt with severely in the Court of Allah. The Holy Quraan says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means." (4:34)
3. The husband should satisfy his wife's physical needs. The Sharee'ah has not prescribed any limit for this. But, he has to ensure that woman's minimum sexual requirements are met so that she may not commit a sin by eyeing other men in order to quench her thirst. There are certain men who, after marriage, do not take care of the sexual needs of their wives. Such people are great sinners and will be severely convicted in the Court of Allah. Almighty Allah has granted women the right to conjugal relations with their husbands. The importance of this right can be well understood by the following example of Ameerul Mohmineen Sayyiduna Omar al-Farouk (radi Allahu anhu): It is reported that he was on his routine inspection round at night in Madinatul Munawwara when he heard an old lady moaning and reciting melancholic couplets. The Caliph stopped there and listened to the wailing lady. He investigated the matter and came to know that the husband of the woman had gone for Jihad long time ago and this woman has been remembering her husband with these sad couplets. The Ameer was deeply moved and immediately issued an official Decree to all chiefs of his army that no married man should be away from his wife for more than four months. (*4).
4. The husband should not beat up his wife without her committing a most severe crime. The Messenger of Allah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Nobody should beat up his wife as he does beat up his slave. He should make love with her later some time." (*5).
5. However, if the woman commits a bigger crime, the husband can beat her not in vengeance but with the intention of reforming her and as a warning. While beating, he should take care that she should not be hurt seriously. The Books of Fiqhah have mentioned that the husband can punish his wife for four things:
   
   1. If the husband orders his wife to decorate herself with ornaments and legitimate make-up but she disobeys and remains dirty.
   2. If the husband invites her to bed and she refuses without any legitimate reason.
   3. If she does not take bath to purify herself after menses.
   4. If she abstain from performing Salaah without a legitimate reason

In the above circumstances, the husband should first persuade the wife. If she does not agree to comply with his requests, he may threaten her. If she still does not obey him, he can beat her barring her face. He should not beat her so severely to the extent of a fracture or a severe wound.

1. In order to bring peace and prosperity in the married life, both the wife and the husband should take care of each others sentiments and emotions. The anger of husband brings to the wife nothing but tension, depression and confusion. Similarly, the anger of the wife brings to the husband nothing but disappointment, mental torture, frustration and bitterness. It is, therefore, advisable to both husband and wife to be patient and compassionate in their dealings.
2. The husband should never appreciate the beauty and other merits of strange woman in front of his wife. This may lead to create jealousy and suspicion in the mind of his wife. She would think that her husband has some illicit relations with that woman. This thought is a poison that kills matrimonial relations. If a man cannot tolerate that his wife should wrongly be associated with another man, the wife also cannot tolerate another woman to share her husband. The woman cannot listen to praise and admiration of another woman through the lips of her husband even if that another woman happens to be his mother or sister or some other close relative.
3. Man is, undoubtedly, made a ruler over the woman but it does not mean that he should ask her to do a work, which is beyond her capacity, or a work which she would not like to do. If the husband still insists his wife to do the work against her will, she would accomplish that job unwillingly and this would create a sort of disgust against her husband, which would ultimately mar their matrimonial life.
4. The husband should from time to time censure the life style of his wife - sometimes in a harsh tone, sometimes with love and affection and sometimes with persuasion. There are husbands who always keep a rod hanging with their moustaches and never treat their wives in a good manner other than rebuking and beating them. Such wives get frustrated and start hating their husbands. There are other hen-pecked husbands who over-pamper their wives even after they commit severe blunders. Their wives become stubborn and outspoken.
5. The husband should implement this couplet of Sa'di of Shiraz in their life. He says: "Strictness and pampering are very good things but at appropriate times". For example, the surgeon cuts open the wound but at the same time apply soothing ointment. Likewise, the husband should not be very strict nor very soft. A middle path always brings good results.
6. The husband, while setting out on a tour, should go to his wife and informally seek her consent in a loving manner and as a matter of goodwill. He may ask her to invoke the Almighty Allah that the journey may prove safe and beneficial for him. Similarly, while returning from the tour he should bring some exclusive gifts for her. This gesture would encourage the wife to think with satisfaction that my husband loves me to the extent that even if he was away engaged in his business activities, he remembered me. Thus, a simple initiative on the part of the husband will win over the heart of his wife.
7. If the woman brings anything from her father's house or prepares herself and presents it to the husband, he should express gratitude and appreciate it. This will please her. The husband should never reject or discard or criticize any gift offered by his wife.
8. If the wife falls sick, the husband should dedicatedly look after her. He should take extra pain in her nursing, feeding, etc. This little service will win over the heart of the wife and she will be very grateful to the husband.
9. The husband should express his full confidence and trust in his wife and, to prove this, he should hand over the domain of the house to her so that she may feel dignified and involved. The Holy Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the woman is the guardian and caretaker of her husband's house and Almighty Allah will take an account from her in this regard on the Day of Judgment.
10. The very benefit of relying on the wife would be that she would feel herself responsible for a vital department in the set up of the household. This will give the husband an opportunity to freely think of other things regarding the promotion and progress of his business.
11. The husband should never share the secrets of her wife with others. Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Worst is the person in the sight of Allah who goes to his wife and then discloses her secrets and lowers her status in the eyes of others." (*6).
12. The husband should be neat and clean as he expects the same from his wife. He should look smart, dynamic and a loveable person.
13. The husband should provide her with the paraphernalia of personal hygiene such as soap, hair oil, comb, Mehndi, perfumes, etc. so that the wife may keep herself neat and clean and in better looks.
14. The husband should not level charges of corrupt practices against his wife without going into the depth of the matter. The relationship between a husband and a wife is based purely on mutual understanding. They have to trust each other. Any baseless suspicion against each other would mar the relations of the husband and wife. A Hadith says: "One Bedouin came to the court of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) and said, "O Allah's Apostle (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), my wife has delivered a child who is dark complexioned and does not resemble me. I am sure it is not my child. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, "Do you have some camels? He said, Yes, I have many camels. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) asked, What is the color of those camels? He said, They are brown. The Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) asked, Are there some grey camels among them? He said, Yes, a few of them are grey. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, Tell me how those brown camels gave birth to these grey camels? He said, Some camel among the ancestors of my brown camels would have been of grey color and these grey camels might have taken their origin from that particular camel. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, Similarly, it is possible that anyone among your ancestors would have been of black complexion and your child might have inherited his genetic influence. (*7).
15. If there is some difference of opinion between the husband and wife, the husband should not make a hurry to pronounce divorce to her. He should exercise restraint. After his anger subsides, he should ponder over the entire matter with a cool mind. He may seek the advice of his elders in this matter and decide whether or not there is a chance of reconciliation and settlement. If a point of understanding and reconciliation emerges, he should act accordingly and refrain from breaking the wedlock. The Beloved Habeeb (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that the divorce is the most disliked things among the permissible things in the sight of Almighty Allah. (*8).
16. If both husband and wife feel that there is no way out except the separation, the husband should pronounce one Talaaq after the woman clears her menses. There will be a temporary separation between them. This period will give them enough time to review their decision of separation. If they think that reconciliation is in their interest, the husband should take his wife back in his arms and forget what had happened between them. But if they think that they can no more live together, the husband should pronounce the second Talaaq after she clears her menses. The second pronouncement separates both of them. They have still a time to think of reconciliation. If they decide to live together, they have to perform the Nikah afresh after the period of Iddat is over. If they do not go for any reconciliation till the completion of the Iddat period, the third Talaaq will automatically come into force bringing a permanent separation between them. They cannot enter wedlock unless they go for Halalah. Halalah means that the woman should marry another man and have physical intercourse with him. The husband number two should divorce her. After the completion of the period of Iddat, she can marry the husband number one again.
17. There are some ignorant persons who play with the word Talaaq. They pronounce the divorce over minor clashes with their wives. After the pronouncement of divorce they repent and rush to the theologians and Muftis and force them to give a verdict in their favor. Some persons, while approaching the theologians, tell a lie that they had pronounced only one Talaaq. The Mufti has to allow them to retain their wives according to the Law of Sharee'ah. Thus, these ignorant people get themselves involved in establishing relations with a woman who is otherwise not to be taken as wife without Halalah.
18. If a man possesses more than one wife, it is obligatory on him to do justice with them. There should be equal treatment among wives in respect of sustenance, living conditions and personal attention. He has to spend equal time with every one of them. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said that if a man has two wives and does not treat them equally, he would be raised on the Day of Judgment with half his body paralyzed. (*9).
19. If the husband faces some trouble because of the misbehavior of his wife, he should try to avoid her and keep patience. Woman's arrogance and foolishness is a natural phenomenon. The Glorious Prophet of Islam (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has said: "Woman has been created from the bent rib of Adam. If somebody tries to make the bent bone straight, it will rather break instead of becoming straight. Similarly, if someone tries to set his wife right, there will be more a chance of separation instead of improvement in her nature.
20. The husband should not behave as a miser in meeting the materialistic requirements of his wife nor should he go for extravagance in her maintenance. He should define his expenditure as per his capacity.
21. The husband should not confine his wife within the four walls of his house. She should be taken to her parents and relatives from time to time provided these visits do not bring any trouble to the peace of his house. ? ??? ???? ?????? ???? ?????? ?????? ???? ? ??? ? ???? ?????? ???? ? ????? ??? ?? ????????

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[1] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280

[2] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280

[3] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280

[4] Tareekhul Khulafa, page 95

[5] Mishkat Shareef, Vol. 2, pg. 280

[6] Muslim Shareef, Vol. 1, page 464

[7] Bukhari, Vol. 2, pg. 799

[8] Abu Da'ood, Vol. 1, pg. 303

[9] Tirmidhi, Vol. 1, pg. 136

Muslim Women

  Muslim Women

Children are a great gift from Almighty Allah to all parents. Parents must think of their children as such treasures that the all the wealth and material resources are worthless as when compared to one?s children. We, as parents, should thank Almighty Allah for blessing us with children whether they are boys or girls. Today, it is quite disheartening to see that some parents rejoice when the newborn child is a male and show their dissatisfaction when the child is a female. But, this should not be the attitude. Islam does not condone this type of behaviour, as such was the manner of the parents in the time of ignorance.

Daughters are without doubt a great blessing from Almighty Allah. They are a means of salvation and a path to Jannah for their parents. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that when a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors. It has been narrated in a Hadith that the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has stated that if parents are kind and generous towards their daughters, then they will be so close to the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in Jannah, like one finger is to the next. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) has also stated that the person who is faced with hardship due to his daughters, and makes Sabr (is patient), then his daughters will be a Purdah (curtain) between him and Hell.

The crux of one narration states that one who loves his daughters and withstands the hardship of grooming and getting them married, then Almighty Allah makes Jannah Waajib (compulsory) on him and keeps him protected from the Fire of Hell.

Hazrat Khwaja Uthman Haaroni (radi Allahu anhu), the Peer-o-Murshid of Khwaja-e-Khwajegaan, Hazrat Sheikh Khwaja Ghareeb Nawaaz (radi Allahu anhu), states: "Daughters are a gift from Almighty Allah. Those parents who are kind towards them, then Almighty Allah is generous towards such parents. Those who are merciful to their daughters, Almighty Allah is Merciful towards them." The great Saint also said, "When a girl is born to a family, then between the parents and Hell, there shall be a distance of five hundred years."

It has been stated that when parents rejoice at the birth of a daughter, this is greater than making Tawaaf of the Kaaba seventy times. Muslims should also remember that the family of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) is from his beloved daughter Sayyidah Fatima Zahra (radi Allahu anha).

Dear brothers and sisters, rejoice on the birth of your daughters, love and guide them and give them that which is due to them from your belongings. Do not deprive them of their inheritance as they also have say in this. Remember! Daughters are a blessing and not a burden.

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ISLAMIC HIJAB - ARE MUSLIM WOMEN OPPRESSED?

The feeling still persists in society that Muslim women wear Hijab or the outer covering because they are slaves to tradition, so much so that it is seen as a symbol of oppression. Western society says that women's liberation and independence is impossible unless they first remove the Hijab. This view is not correct. Why do Muslim women wear the outer covering that sometimes covers their face and hides the rest of their body?

Almighty Allah says in the Holy Quran, Chapter 33, Verse 59: "O Prophet! Tell your wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons; that is better, that they should be known (as such) and not be molested." And in Chapter 24, Verse 31: "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what appear thereof; that they should draw their scarves over their bosoms - "

Muslim women all over the world are wearing Hijab as a religious requirement and a sign of respect, not out of a misdirected sense of "tradition." It is both a sign of a women's obedience to Allah and a manifestation of her faith. The Hijab is part of a Muslim's religious identity. It gives women dignity and self-respect.

Islam commands women to cover their bodies so as not to trouble men who are weak and unable to resist temptation. In Islam, men and women are commanded to dress modestly and not appear "naked" in public, even in all male and female situations.

Just as a short skirt or a see-through dress can send the signal that the wearer is available to men, so the Hijab signals, loud and clear: "I am forbidden to you." Wearing the Hijab protects the female from harassment and men. It is the western women who are to be pitied for displaying their private self for all to see.

An American, Ruth Anderson, has said: "Hijab is not a sign of backwardness, ignorance or mental incompetence, but a woman's duty and her right."

A women in Hijab is like a jewel that is of high exceptional value and that which must be kept hidden. Wearing the Hijab is a choice that Muslim women make. To discard the Hijab or expose that part of her body ordered covered by the Divine Law is to disobey Islamic principles and a women's basic Islamic belief.

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RE-INTRODUCTION OF HIJAAB IN INDONESIA

Growing popularity of Islamic dress code in Indonesia has started a new trend. Women from the middle-income group have explicitly shown escalating preference to Islamic clothes resulting in a multi-million fashion industry as admitted by Aami Waamsu, Editor of the fashion magazine "Femina."

According to Taufiq Abdullah Nigar of Indonesian Science Institute, this shocking trend has developed in the short span of the last 2 - 3 years. This has been in the wake of the recognition that Indonesian men are more respectful towards women in Islamic attire. Previously, modern Indonesian women wore tops, pants and ordinary scarves. Nowadays, preference is given to dignified loose clothing with scarves completely covering the head.

The fever has caught on to such an extent that even non-Muslim designers have resorted to designing Islamic clothes. Muslim women are active in social, religious and political fields dressed according to Islamic dressing code. A really interesting angle of this "fashion revival" is that so impressed are the non-Muslim women by this trend that they too have begun to imitate it!

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BEIJING WORLD CONFERENCE ON WOMEN CONSPIRE TO "LIBERATE" MUSLIM WOMEN FROM ISLAM

At the Beijing World ("anti-Islam & anti-religion") Conference, "experts" talked about the need to liberate Muslim women from Islam, and in general all women from religion. It was easy to see that there were open attacks against Islam and religion in general. There were also open talks about rights for prostitutes, lesbians and homosexuals. The Conference also discussed about the rights of children over their sexual lives.

Betty Freidan, an American feminist leader and author, talked about the dangers Islamic conservatism poses to women. In a panel session entitled "Muslim Women in North America", led by a Muslim delegate chosen by the Clinton administration to represent the US as a liaison between the US and the Muslim and Arab worlds, a panel member vehemently attacked the Imams of North American mosques for fanaticism against Muslim women in the "land of freedom".

In another session that was chaired by a feminist Hindu, she described how the Vatican had come together with Islam for the purpose of denying women's rights. Another speaker in this session, who was a liberal Catholic, encouraged women to become more "open" and to acquire power. She also said that "the biggest mistake in the universe" is to envision an "omnipotent or perfect God." Dr Riffat Hassan, a professor in Islamic studies from the University of Louisville, explained how she had been engaged in the last 20 years in developing a "feminist theology in the context of Islam".

It was also clear from the Conference that the powers who were running the UN have an agenda to impose their own "Shariah" on the entire world. Just by attending the Conference at government level, the Muslim countries accepted the principle that they could negotiate about this imposed Shariah. Muslim delegates did not realise that they were actually "dignifying" a gathering that could not be dignified.

The Conference failed to encourage the individuals need in altering their life styles in order to combat sexually transmitted diseases; did not encourage family life and morality; for women (and men) to abstain from early sex; etc. The UN also encourages that for women to work in a factory or an office is a right; to stay at home is an oppression. A woman should not be dependent of her husband; she should be dependent on her boss.

Muslims throughout the world, including all South African Muslims, must condemn and reject this Conference. What about the women in Kashmir who jumped into the Jhelum River in Kashmir to protect their honour from the Indian forces? Why did the World Conference on Women not speak about that! What about the 70, 000 Muslim women raped, abused and beaten in Bosnia? What about the millions in Iraq, Kashmir and Bosnia who are without food and medicine? The "women's right" which the Conference speaks about is far from the women's rights which Islam grants. This is nothing but an attempt by the UN and the world in condemning Islam, Islamic values and creating a world and society completely devoid of all sensibility and shame. (Facts extracted from "Impact International" - Vol.25 No.10)

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DUTY TOWARDS OUR MOTHERS

A Saint relates that once, having made intention of performing Haj, he left for Baghdad from where he was to proceed to Hijaz. In Baghdad, he arrived at the house of Hazrat Abu Hazim Makki (rahmatullahi alai) where he found Hazrat Abu Hazim Makki (rahmatullahi alai) fast asleep. When he awoke from his asleep, he came over to the Saint and told him, "I had the good fortune of seeing Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) in my dream just now, and he asked me to convey a message to you."

"What is the message?" asked the Saint.

"He asked me to inform you that it would be better for you if you called off your journey to Hijaz for purpose of making Haj, and spent time looking after your ageing mother and keeping her happy at all times. This would enable you to perform your Haj in the future with Allah's Pleasure."

The Saint, upon hearing this, returned home without performing Haj.

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ESCALATION OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN MUSLIM COMMUNITY

This almost taboo issue is being brought out to the open. Violence against women has reached such high levels in the Muslim community that almost 1 in 5 families is adversely affected. Whether it is physical, emotional or sexual abuse, it threatens the very existence of healthy communities. If women are abused how does a mother then fulfill her major roles as a wife and a mother? Yet Muslims in South Africa have not yet acknowledged this as one of the major social problems them all the time. Research clearly shows that children from abusive homes, themselves become abusive parents. The high rate of divorce, separation, extra-marital relationships is a daily occurance in our society. The disruption and breakdown of families leads to a variety of social problems. (Courtesy: JIMASA - Dec. 1996)

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VERY IMPORTANT NOTE

It is Haraam for women to touch the hand, feet or body of any strange man and it is also Haraam for the man to give her the permission to do so. The Mashaa'ikh and Peers of today should take a lesson from this. The evil practice of Mureedas (female Mureeds) kissing the hands and feet of their Peer-o-Murshid must stop. It is totally Haraam for both to kiss and to be kissed. It is FARD on the Sheikh to strongly forbid their female Mureeds from doing such un-Islamic acts. Sayyidah Ayesha Siddiqa (radi Allahu anha) states that there was never an instance when a woman touched the hands of the Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) at the time of Bai'at. Likewise, those persons who visit massage parlours, etc. and have their bodies massaged or rubbed by strange women is strictly Haraam and a great sin (Kabeera). It is Fard on them to abstain from such immoral acts and fear Allah, the All Knowing and All Powerful.

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A FEW REASONS FOR POVERTY

Wealth and poverty comes from Almighty Allah. However, the pious servants and learned scholars have given a few reasons as to why poverty comes and what to abstain from to avoid poverty:-

1. By not reading Namaaz and Quran.
   
2. By reading Quran without Wudhu.
   
3. By calling parents by their names or disrespecting them.
   
4. To be annoyed with receiving visitors.
   
5. By being unkind to relatives.
   
6. To hit and scold your children without reason.
   
7. To eat without saying Bismillah.
   
8. To eat without washing the hands.
   
9. To eat without a hat or with the left hand.
   
10. To eat near a deceased or in the dark.
    
11. To leave food opened.
    
12. To delay food that has been already served.
    
13. To leave dishes unwashed after eating.
    
14. To wash your hands in eating utensils.
    
15. To take a false oath.
    
16. To talk of worldly things in the Musjid or during Wudhu.
    
17. To sleep until the sun rises.
    
18. To sleep between Maghrib and Esha.
    
19. To sleep naked.
    
20. To urinate in the bathroom.
    
21. To go to the toilet without a hat.
    
22. To talk in the toilet.
    
23. To pass urine or stool on a pathway or under a tree.
    
24. To laugh in a cemetery.
    
25. To use broken utensils.
    
26. To use a broken comb.
    
27. For ladies to remain with the head uncovered.
    
28. To stand and comb or tie the hair.
    
29. To sweep at night.
    
30. To sweep the house and keep the dirt in the house.
    
31. To keep long nails, of bite one's nails.
    
32. To sew torn clothes on the body.
    
33. To have a haircut while Na-Paak.
    
34. To keep the pubic hairs more than forty days.
    
35. To put off a flame by blowing it.
    
36. To sit on the stoop of the house.
    
37. To leave shoes upside down and not straighten it.
    
38. To leave spider cob-webs in the house.
    
39. To burn the peel of garlic or onions.
    
40. Not to help a person in trouble at night.
    
41. It has been mentioned by some pious persons that to be intimate with the wife on Saturday after sunset till Sunday morning and on Tuesday after sunset till Wednesday morning is not regarded as a good time. They said that if the wife becomes pregnant in this time they there is a risk of sickness and bad habits in the child.?
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Institution of Marriage

The Institution of Marriage

The Quranic point of view with regard to the institution of marriage is based on the following principles and laws:

Interdependence of man and woman in ensuring fullness of life for each other through mutual affection, mutual confidence and mutual protection, as husband and wife has been stressed by using a metaphor of profound beauty: "They are your garments and you are their garments." (2:187)

For those who can afford it, marriage is an obligation. The Quran says: "And perform marriage of those among you who have not been married and of your suitable servants and hand maids. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allah is Ample Knowing." (24: 32)

Contrast it with the attitude of those religions, which advocate celibacy and idolize it as the ideal of perfection, considering sexual satisfaction even in the bond of marriage as a positive evil from the spiritual point of view. 

Marriage is a social contract. The word Nikah, used for marriage in the Holy Quraan, originally means Aqd. Thus, the very word Nikah implies that marriage is a social contract, and not a sacrament, although it is a sacred contract. Moreover, the Quraanic permission to terminate the relation of marriage, if it becomes absolutely impossible for the husband and the wife to continue that relation, proves that the Quraan regards marriage as a social contract only.

Women are not to be treated as property (*1). The Quraan says: "O believers! It is not lawful for you to be heir of the women forcibly." (4:19)

Marriage with persons of certain categories has been prohibited. The Holy Quraan has prohibited marriage with all those who may stand in the relations of consanguinity, or affinity, or fosterage. Almighty Allah states; "Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters and sisters and your father's sisters and mother's sisters and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and your mothers who have given suck to you and your foster sisters and the mothers of your wives and daughters (your step daughters) who are in your care from the wives with whom you had intercourse but if you had not intercourse with them, then there is no harm in their daughters, and the wives of your sons who are of your loins and to have two sisters together except what has already passed. (*2). Undoubtedly. Allah is Forgiving, Merciful." (4: 23)

Islam has established that every marriage must be preceded by the consent of the woman who is to be married, whether she is a virgin or a woman who had a previous marriage. Her consent must be obtained before her father or the guardian can act for her in any marriage contract.

Indeed, when a marriage is conducted, the government registrar or other official or the Qaadi must satisfy himself that he has the woman's full agreement. If someone is acting for her as her guardian, the Qaadi will ask him to produce two witnesses who testify that she has authorized him to act for her in this marriage. Several Hadith tell us that a previously married woman has more authority over herself than her guardian. A virgin must be asked concerning her marriage. Her consent may be given by keeping quiet. The distinction here between a previously married woman and a virgin is merely in the form of how consent is granted. A virgin may be too shy to state in words that she accepts to be married, while a previously married woman has learned practically that there is nothing to be shy about in marriage.(*3)Hadith:

Hazrat Abu Huraira ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated 

that Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said that a matron should not be given in marriage without her consent and a virgin should not be given in marriage without taking her permission. The people requested Ya Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ????! How can we know the virgin consent (permission)? Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said if she keeps silence during asking then it implies her consent (indicates her permission). (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.123)

Hazrat Aisha ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated I requested Ya Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? a virgin girl feels shy from giving her consent. Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said that her silence implies her consent. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.124)

Hazrat Abu Huraira ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated that Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said unmarried girl must not be married until she is not consulted and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. Blessed Companion (Sahaba) asked: Ya Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ????! How virgin consent (permission) is? Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said her silence(it indicates her permission). (Sahih Muslim: Volume No.2, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.3458) 
Hazrat Aisha ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated

I asked from Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ????:When a girl whose marriage is solemnised by her guardian, whether it necessary to take permission from her or not. Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said: must be consulted. Hazrat Aisha ??? ???? ?????? ??? said i requested: Ya Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ????   she feels shy, whereupon Rasulallah  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said: Her silence implies her consent (permission). (Sahih Muslim: Volume No.2, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.3460) 
Matchmaking

After the girl attains adulthood, her parents should find a good match and marry her. During the matchmaking exercise, the parents should abstain from establishing matrimonial relations with families of wrongdoers like Wahabis , Deobandis, Shi'ites, Najadi (*4). etc. They should give the hand of their daughter into the hand of a Sunni boy who sincerely follows the Sharee'ah and the ways of the Ahle-Sunnah wa Jama'at (*5). .

Hazrat Abu Huraira ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated That Nabi Kareem  ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said a woman is married for four things,because of her wealth, her family status, physical look and beauty and her religion. If your hands are soiled then get religiousness. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.81)The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) added that religiousness should be given priority at the time of matchmaking. Marriage fulfills the purpose of expanding the generation. It also saves man from illicit relations with other women. Marriage (Nikkah) carries high rewards. 
Forced Marriage is not acceptable

The idea of a woman being forced into a marriage against her own wishes is not acceptable from the Islamic point of view.  
Hazrat Khansa bint Khidam Al-Ansariya ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated That her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron and she disliked that marriage. So she went to Rasulallah ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? and Rasulallah ??? ???? ?????? ???? ???? ???? said that marriage invalid. (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.125)
Hazrat Abdur-Rahman bin Yazid and Majammi bin Yazid ??? ???? ?????? ??? narrated That a man called Khidam married a daughter of his.Next the same above Hadith No.125 (Sahih-Al-Bukhari: Volume No.3, Chapter: Kitab-ul-Nikkah, Hadith No.126)  
It is often thought that because a father acts for his daughter in marriage, he can marry her to whomever he likes, without seeking her consent. People, who suggest this, make a very superficial judgment. By requiring a father or a guardian to act for the woman in her marriage, Islam emphasizes the woman's honor. Marriage in Islam is the way to establish a family, and this is conducted through families. Therefore, the woman appears to have the consent of her family to her own marriage. She does not appear as the weaker party in a civil contract.

There is no rigid process of choosing a husband. If a man proposes to a family seeking to marry one of their daughters, then he must have based his choice on either first hand knowledge or proper investigation. Similarly, if the woman's family makes the approach, then it must be based on a good knowledge of the man and his character.

As we all know, Islam does not permit the sort of free-mixing between the sexes, which is known in Western societies. If some aspects of that social mixing is practiced among certain sections of society in Muslim countries, then that is something Islam disallows. In a certain situation, a woman is able to know the character and nature of a man and she feels, on the basis of her knowledge, that he can make her a very good husband. It is perfectly conceivable that a woman can acquire such knowledge of a man, either because he is her colleague at work, or because she has had a chance to see him acting in different situations. Such knowledge would enable her to understand his character and to find out that he can be a good family man.

When a woman has known such a man and wishes to marry him, she should speak to her family about it. Her father or guardian will take over and speak to the man either directly or through intermediaries. All this is appropriate. What is not appropriate from the Islamic point of view is that the woman should try to get the man into a love relationship with her as it happens in films or in Western societies.

If a woman selects a man as her future husband and he is considered to be good for her from the social point of view, then the father is required to facilitate her marriage.

(*)[Sayyidah Hafsah bint Omar (radi Allahu anha), Sayyiduna Omar's - radi Allahu anhu daughter, became a widow when her husband, Khunais bin Huthafah (radi Allahu anhu), who was a companion of Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam), passed away in Madinatul Munawwara Munawwara. Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) reports: I went to Uthman bin Affaan (radi Allahu anhu) and offered him Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) saying, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) as a wife. He said, I will consider the matter. I waited for a few days, then Uthman (radi Allahu anhu) met me and said, I have considered the matter and I do not wish to be married now.

Sayyiduna Omar (radi Allahu anhu) goes on in his report: I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and said, If you wish, I will give you Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) in marriage. Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) kept quiet and gave no answer whatsoever. I felt more aggrieved with him than I was with Uthman (radi Allahu anhu). After a few days, Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) proposed to marry Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave her away in marriage to him. I then met Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu) and he said, You might have felt something against me when you offered me Hafsah (radi Allahu anha) and I gave no reply. I answered in the affirmative. He said, What prevented me from answering your proposal was that I had learned that Allah's Messenger (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) had expressed his wish to marry her. I am not one who reveals the Prophet's (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) secret.]

Witnesses are necessary in Nikah 

The majority of Ulama concur that a woman may not give herself away in marriage, but her guardian (as a representing Wakeel) must act on her behalf by the virtue of her permission in her Nikah to a man. Nor can she give an authority to anyone else to act for her in marriage. Moreover, a woman cannot act (as a Wakeel) for another woman in a marriage contract. (That is to say: even a mother cannot.)]

As for the person who should be her guardian for marriage purposes, there is no doubt that it is her father. If he is available, then no one else may act for her. If her father is not available, either because he is dead or mentally deranged, then her paternal grandfather or great grandfather may act for her. If she has no father or grandfather, her brother will act for her or any family elder as agreed by the family and woman.

It should be said that the condition of a guardian to act for a woman in her marriage does not detract from her the ability or the qualification to make the right choice. Indeed, any such guardian should have her consent before he goes ahead with the marriage arrangements. His presence is required not as a witness but as her representative. This is an aspect of the honorable position that Islam assigns to women. Moreover, it reflects on the seriousness with which Islam views marriage. It is a family matter, which is conducted by families. Moreover, when family represents the woman, this is more conducive to ensuring that her husband respects her rights. Besides, the nature of society Islam builds is one in which the woman normally takes her natural position, looking after the future generation. That is bound to limit her social activities a little. Her judgment of people, especially of men and their characters may, as a result, needs to be supplemented by that of other men in her family.

If a woman marries herself away without the presence of her father or appointed guardian, then her marriage is invalid because there no witnesses as required by the Sharee'ah. 

Thus we are to understand that the Sharee'ah requires one to announce Nikah either in public or in the presence of witnesses so that the Muslim society does not fall into any doubt about the legitimate relation of two individuals.

A woman, until she gets married, is called the daughter of her parents. After the marriage, she becomes somebody's wife. Now she has much more responsibilities and duties than ever. She has to fulfill additional duties towards her husband. She should be sincere and faithful to her husband and serve him with utmost dedication.

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[1] A woman in marriage is not a slave but a partner in trust which should not be abused in any way. They should the coolness of the husband's eye and likewise, the wife should not do things to offend the husband and become a thorn in his eye.

[2] To have two blood sisters in marriage at the same time is Haraam in Islam. One may marry another sister only after the death of one.

[3] It clearly understandable that a girl must be consulted before her marriage to make it lawful.

[4] The corrupted Sects that have deviated from Islam due to their false Aqaa'id.

[5] The Group of Salvation or the Majority Group about whom Sayyiduna Rasoolullah (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said would enter Jannah.

(*) This sign ((*)) indicates unverified materials.

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Parents After Marriage

Duties Towards Parents After Marriage

There are various incidents in our society when the husband refuses to allow his wife to visit her parents. What right does a man think he has over his wife's feelings and duties to stop her from seeing her parents. Does he, by chance, think that by marrying her he has come to own her. Does he put her in the same category or the same relationship to a goat he buys. If so, he is certainly mistaken. From the Islamic point of view, the relationship between a man and his wife is one between two human beings of equal status. Each of them has certain duties, but neither of them can negate the independent personality of the other.

It is simply unacceptable from the Islamic point of view that a husband should consider that the marriage divides his wife's life into two separate stages and that each stage is completely isolated from the other. If he tries to impose this situation, then he will have a wife who is disillusioned, broken-hearted and totally lacking in the ability to impart to her children the proper values of kindness to family relations and dutifulness to parents. How could she, when she herself is denied the right to maintain her relationship with her parents.

The fact is that dutifulness to parents is a duty imposed by Allah on all children, boys and girls, men and women, single or married. This dutifulness does not stop at any particular stage in anyone's existence. It extends throughout the parents, and the children's lives. Being dutiful to one's parents is not considered to have been completed when they die. Their children are required to continue to show dutifulness to them by showing respect and kind treatment to their friends and relatives, supplicating on their behalf, praying to Allah to have mercy on them, reciting the Holy Quraan and giving Sadaqah or charitable donations on their behalf, etc. When parents have such a claim against their children, how is it possible that a husband prevents his wife from visiting her parents.

If he does, then he is certainly unjust to her, unless he has a very good reason for his action that can only be imagined in isolated cases. A man should consider what his feelings would be like if her unreasonable husband prevented his sister from seeing their parents. He should extend to his wife the same treatment he would like to see extended to his dearest sister.

If an elderly couple has only daughters and they all are married, and the couple needs to be looked after, then their daughters should try their best to look after them. Islam does not accept that such elderly parents should be abandoned simply because their daughters are married.

If a husband threatens his wife with divorce for visiting her parents, he is unjust to her and to them. Injustice is forbidden in Islam. Almighty Allah says in a Qudsi Hadith: "My servants, I have forbidden injustice and have made injustice forbidden to you. Do not be unjust to one another."

Nor is it permissible for a Muslim to obey anyone encouraging him to be unjust to his wife, not even his parents. If your parents insist that you treat your wife harshly or unjustly, you should realize that injustice represents disobedience to Almighty Allah. The Holy Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) says: "No creature may be obeyed in what constitutes disobedience to the Creator."

The Best Wife

The best wife is she,

1. Who considers attending her husband as her foremost duty.
2. Who never leaves any requirement of her husband unfulfilled.
3. Who appreciates the merits of her husband and neglects his demerits.
4. Who takes pains in comforting her husband.
5. Who does not put any demand before her husband that is beyond his capacity and leads a life of contentment.
6. Who never looks at strange and unknown men nor allows them to look at her.
7. Who lives in Pardah and keeps her chastity safe.
8. Who safeguards the wealth, the property and other belongings of her husband including herself.
9. Who proves her dedication to her husband by sacrificing everything to salvage her husband from any calamity.
10. Who keeps patience over the atrocities inflicted to her by her husband.
11. Who is looked upon respectfully both in her father's house and in her husband's house.
12. Who is humble and kind to the neighbors and whose humility everyone appreciates.
13. Who carries out her religious duties with punctuality and fulfills the rights of the Creator and creatures.
14. Who tolerates with cool mind the bitterness of the members of her husband's family.
15. Who first feeds the other members of the house and eats herself in the last.

Conflict with mother-in-law

This is one of the darkest chapters in human history. The conflict between mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has been a centuries old tradition. Almost every house faces this crisis. How surprising is the matter that the mother brings up her son with utmost care and love. She longs for her son to grow up soon and when the son reaches his youth, she as the mother sets out to choose a suitable bride for her son. In the process of matchmaking she insists on the most beautiful girls of the world to be her daughter-in-law.

But when that most beautiful girl leaves her father's house and enters her new house, the mother of her husband suddenly appears as an avowed enemy. The reason of this conflict is purely a psychological one. The mother, who has been reigning over this house for the last so many years, suddenly finds that a new woman has come to share not only the monopolistic authority of this house but also the love and affection of her son. The newcomer woman not only diverts the attention of her father-in- law but also the attention of other male members of the house. The son also gets more involved in her newly-wed lady than his mother. He does not call her mother for attending his requirements. The father-in-law also gets immense pleasure to call his daughter-in-law for his needs. This becomes unbearable for the old lady and she develops a feeling of jealousy against the new comer. Gradually, this feeling takes the shape of severe hatred. The newcomer lady is quite young and enthusiastic in her approach to life. She wants to bring about some innovation in the old style of the house. The mother cannot tolerate this as she thinks that the house still belongs to her. She is not prepared for being neglected by the members of the family. Thus, starts a cold war between the old lady and the new lady. Slowly and quite unknowingly the entire house gets involved in this conflict.

The only way to end this conflict is that all the parties of this conflict - the mother, her son and the daughter-in-law should appreciate their respective rights and duties.

How the Mother-in Law should behave

Every mother-in-law should treat her daughter-in-law as her own daughter. If the daughter-in-law, due to her inexperience, commits a mistake, she should not be rebuked or admonished. Rather, the mother-in-law should gently teach her the correct way of doing things. The old mistress of the house should always bear in mind that this new lady has come to this house by leaving her parents and relatives and friends. She is facing a new environment here with so many strange faces around. The old lady should come forward and become a useful companion of the new comer. She should accept the wife of her son as her own daughter. Once this relationship develops between the two ladies, the house will surely turn into a heaven on earth.

How the Daughter-in-Law should behave

Every daughter-in-law should treat her mother-in-law as her own mother. She should pay due respect to her, obey her commands and attend to her needs. If the old mistress of the house rebukes her on some matters, she should not answer back. Similarly, she should treat her father-in-law as her own father and look after his requirements. During the lifetime of her husband's parents, she should never think of dividing the family by raising the demand of a separate house for herself and her husband. She should be kind to other ladies in her husband's family such as the wives of her husband's elder and younger brothers. She should be friendly with the sisters of her husband.

How the son should behave

The son should treat his bride with love and kindness. But at the same time, he should not neglect his parents. He should show the same vigor in loving his parents as was before his marriage. He should not make his mother feel that her authority has been minimized following the arrival of a new lady member. He should carry out all transactions through his mother. He should also instruct his bride not to undertake any work without the permission of his parents. This would give the mother a confidence that she is still the mistress of the house and both the son and the daughter-in-law have allegiance to her authority. ? ??? ???? ?????? ???? ?????? 

 ?????? ???? ? ??? ? ???? ?????? ???? ? ????? ??? ?? ????????

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